A legend tells of a monastery where there was a monk with a very hot temper who would easily fly into a rage. After his anger subsided, the monk would feel ashamed, but the shame was never enough to restrain his anger the next time. One day, he thought to himself, “I will go live as a hermit, alone in the desert. There, no one will make me get angry, and I can live in peace.” And so, he went to the desert.
One day, when he had run out of water, he went with two buckets to fetch some. He filled the first one and set it on the ground to fill the other, but he placed it poorly, the bucket tipped over, and the water spilled out. He filled it again, and once more the bucket toppled, and the water spilled. Then, filled with anger, he grabbed the bucket and hurled it to the ground with such force that it broke. The bucket was of no more use to him, but the monk learned the lesson: the fault for his anger did not lie with others but with himself, and the solution was not to flee from situations but to work on and overcome it.
While it is true that stimulus from outside triggers this passion (the behavior of the monks in the story), it is also true that the stimulus is just a stimulus and not the passion, which is within us. Therefore, we would not be able to overcome it just fleeing from the triggers because anger is a passion within us. This is why there will always be triggers (like the falling of the bucket in the story) that will stir up anger.
According to psychologists, if anger is managed inappropriately, it is likely to negatively affect our physical and mental health from headaches and gastrointestinal disorders to psychological and emotional disturbances. To manage anger does not mean to get rid of it because that is impossible, but rather it means to order it.
How do we order it? How do we overcome it? First of all, we need to acknowledge our anger to ourselves and to God. It is important not to pretend that we are not angry or to call it something else, because that will not help to overcome it but will only help us not to manifest the anger. Second, we need to try to stop it rather than encourage it, which means finding reasons not to be angry rather than finding reasons to be angry, thus jumping to unwarranted conclusions. We should look to find supernatural reasons for being merciful and forgiving rather than being a seeker of justice and revenge. We also need to recognize the excesses committed by our anger and bring them to confession, rather than justify them. Finally, when anger seems to overtake us, let us look at the crucifix, the icon of anger management. Jesus always teaches us how to handle our anger.
